I'm right here. Yep, on this side of the computer screen. I'm also in the pits. Do you see me there? Are you there with me? Would I recognize you? Do you know the way out?
This is my once or twice a year life crisis. Have you ever experienced one? You feel like your life is really bad, but actually, it's not that bad. At least, mine is not. I'm just not satisfied with what I'm doing with my life. I've got a good day job. I love the people I work with. And my family. And my kitties. I've got a nice place to live. I've just let a few things go. Like my health, spiritual life, and ... my writing.
I'm in avoidance. You know what that's like. Mine goes a lot like this. Book buying, game playing, social networking, tv watching, etc. Anything to distract me from what needs to be done. Even housework. Although, if you saw my house, you'd see I use distraction for other things, too. LOLOLOL.
This crisis came from book buying. One day in my favorite bookstore, in my favorite section, I started counting the books in print that have been written by the people whom I've met through writing workshops and the Oregon Writers Network (run by Dean Wesley Smith, http://deanwesleysmith.com/ , and Kristine Kathryn Rusch, http://kristinekathrynrusch.com/). I've been attending workshops with these people since 2000. Dean edited the Star Trek Strange New Worlds contest starting in 1997, and gave me my first professional encouragement. MANY of the people I've met have been published since then. Most had been well on their way to publication before then. Some had already been published before I met them.
If I had applied myself I could have been published by now, too. I'm not comparing myself to these friends. And I'm not jealous of them. I've celebrated all of their successes. But I look at myself and KNOW that I could do better.
So, instead of starting over in January, like everybody else, I'm starting over in June. (couldn't be that the birthday is just around the corner... could it? LOL) How about you? Will you let a little unsatisfaction dictate your life? I'll admit that I'm gonna let it do that for me, because that is my impetus to change. And I'd like to bring you along for the ride. I don't promise to have all the answers. And I don't promise that this will work... this time.
I do promise to keep trying.
I've found that the more I try, the longer it takes me to fail. And if I keep putting that failure off, I just might find myself successful. One day. Hmmm, an actual use for procrastination? We'll see.
A friend (Thanks, Dave) pointed me to another blog called "Toil, Solitude, Prayer: Writing as a Practice" by Paltry Francis. http://toilsolitudeprayer.blogspot.com Very inspirational and many good points. I hope she continues. Paltry decided to train for the marathon that is writing a novel.
That's a good idea. I think I'll try that, maybe taking a bit longer with my approach. Over the next seven weeks, the length of time it takes to establish a habit according to experts, I'm going to concentrate on doing the following things: Bible reading and praying for the spiritual side; exercising for health; and writing for creativity. One half hour each day for each of these. Now, I may do more than that in each category. I'm just trying for that much time at the least.
I'm not going to think about changing anything else. No diets, no housecleaning blitz, no determining to quit doing things. That might happen naturally as a result of the first three. But those three are what I'm going to concentrate on. Otherwise, I might burn out. I don't want to this time.
My goal is to have a balanced life, including my spiritual life, my social life, my writing and the day job, and to be published. I'd love to write full time, but don't think that's possible with my health. More about that later on.
I'll check in once a week to let you know how I'm doing. Succeed, fail, restart. I'll be honest about what's going on.
If you decide to come with me, what are you going to concentrate on? You don't have to start with three things. Maybe just one. But look at what your life needs to be balanced and start there. Let me know. I'll be interested, and I'll keep all of you in my prayers.
Until next week,
Karen
